I have been in Shah Alam for more than 10 days and truth be told, I miss my home in Tulsa. I know, that sounds weird because my family is here. Whom do I have in Tulsa? Well, if my brother would answer that, he would say, “Me”.
yes, contrary to popular beliefs, I do sit down and wonder why in the whole wide world is my circle of friends so small?
it’s a choice that comes with severe consequence to me and my friends. only those who are patient, emphatic, and truly sincere can actually withstand being friends with me.
i burden them with my emotions: the good AND bad.
this morning, alhamdulillah, Allah blessed me with the chance to attend solatul Fajr at the local masjid. I felt so peaceful. There wasn’t any pressure to lead the prayer. I was just a regular person. No one expected anything from me. What a wonderful feeling that was!
Of course, on the way to the masjid, I remembered my brother. I miss him. We used to attend Fajr together. We would work together so that we could make it. I miss his texts asking me, “Where r u at?” when I missed it.
But I’m happy. I’m happy because the defining moments of our friendship are those times when both of us worked hard to gain Allah’s pleasure. We became spiritual partners.
I know I made many mistakes. I know he forgives me. In fact, he always tells me, “You’re always forgiven”.
But my foolishness had somehow blinded me and I took him for granted. I’m such a screwed up. :'(
yesterday i realized that somehow or rather, I have made the right decision in my life.
would i face adversities with this choice? of course! who wouldn’t?
i don’t know how not to care. nor do i know how not to love.
i think i will die.
I don’t doubt. 5 years of outstanding memories can’t just disappear into oblivion by misunderstandings.
I miss my best friend. A lot. I look forward to seeing him.
i sat and reflected. well, i did more than sitting down. i went running and my mind kept on thinking about what i did and how things are going to be after 9/1/12
it still hasn’t sunken in. i felt as if someone cracked my ribs open and then pulled my heart from its sanctuary.